Thursday, August 12, 2010

CONDITIONAL LOVE

My 3WW for this week is short and sweet (excuse the cliche).

CONDITIONAL LOVE


Jackson chewed the raw chicken, did not grimace once. Bethany could not believe he took the joke so seriously. All she wanted was for him to say, no, I won't do it. But Jackson never said no; at least not to her. He held hope, gripped it in his sweaty palm and wrung it breathless. She held hope too, but caressed it, nurtured it—her hope embodied his surrender. Love conquered nothing, except for ill-conceived notions of two-dimensional greeting-card sentiments. Jackson believed those dimensions—the remedy for unrequited love dwelt inside the definition of "unconditional." Her leverage became his demise. If only he could understand; love-sick did not want a cure.

15 comments:

Michael Solender said...

It's just like sushi right? Not the chicken, the sick feeling in your tummy called love. Too funny Peggy.

Laura Eno said...

Raw chicken?? Love-sick. Your label about your son's experience is priceless!

Jay Thurston said...

"He held hope, gripped it in his sweaty palm and wrung it breathless."

I liked this line most of the piece. Nicely phrased, very creative.

Overall a very deep piece, especially considering its briefness. This "short and sweet" type is outside the box for you; good to see you flexing your diversity.

Laurita said...

Short, but it packs a punch. It also sort of triggers the gag reflex with that bit about the raw chicken.

ThomG said...

Peggy, not all pieces have to be more than 1,000 words. What you've done here is wring the most of of the words you chose into a tight, taut descriptive piece. I love it.

Mike Robertson said...

Ahh Peg! This is magnificent! Short as it is, it contains nuggets of important truths and dilemmas, especially for the young and love-struck. Well done m'girl.

gautami tripathy said...

Tight and taut!

tumbled thoughts in a silver tumbler

Linda said...

Really amazing short -- so much said in so little space. I loved the counterpoint lines about holding hope -- the male and female versions. Peace...

K said...

When reading, I look fro pop, crispness, and brevity. You did all three here. You did more. The emotions here are so raw, anyone who has ever loved (even a little) would recognize hem for what they are. Peg, this was beautiful.
(BTW, thanks so much for the mention on Twitter last week.)

quin browne said...

FMD--brilliant.

Daily Panic said...

Love makes us do unhealty things-to the point we will entice death to remove us from it, chewing the raw chicken was a surprise and terrific way to show the anguish.

Cathy Olliffe said...

Ew to the chicken, omg I hope he doesn't get sick - even touching raw chicken freaks me out. But no ew whatsoever to this love story. Gorgeous, Peg, just as pretty as a picture.

Timothy P. Remp said...

Raw Chicken? Yuck... but for love, we'll tolerate anything.

-Tim

Dee Martin said...

the sick feeling I get about eating the raw chicken plays well with the sickness that can be what we call love. Outstanding!

MichaelO said...

Is there anything more fowl than eating raw chicken? (Sorry, I couldn't resist :)) This was indeed tightly packed and powerful. Great job!